Ain't That Insane
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Exposure to the Acolytes can cause major losses including sanity, dignity and one's will to live.


**Ain't That Insane**

"Gauuughhh," Magneto staggered into the infirmary and braced himself against a counter. He stumbled toward a supply cabinet and immediately rummaged through it. "Those stupid, crazy, cerebrally underdeveloped lunatics. Their insanity never quits! If they keep up their mindless antics I won't have a base left!" He grabbed a half empty pill bottle and quickly downed some of the contents. "Those fools are madness and chaos personified! Even with all my power and resources I can't get them to stop! It's insufferable! I don't know how much more I can take!"

CRASH!

BOOM!

"LOOK OUT! HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE!"

WHOOOOSH!

"CORAGGIO!"

WHAM!

CRUNCH!

"AAAHHHHHH!"

"GO! GO! GO!"

SMASH!

"Oh no, not again!" Magneto groaned and finished off the rest of the pill bottle. "Those idiots never quit!" He threw away the empty bottle and winced as another explosion echoed in the background. "_They made me cry! When they made pigs fly!_"

"YAY!" Pyro ran past the doorway leading a drove of flying pig plushies. "ONWARD MY FLYING FRIENDS! ONWARD!"

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto moaned as sounds of destruction were heard. "_They addled my brain! Ain't that insane? They're the ones to blame!_"

"GET BACK HERE PYRO!" Remy was seen dashing after him. "YOU KNOW YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO EQUIP THOSE THINGS WITH ROCKET PACKS!"

BOOM!

"Oh geeze," Magneto groaned and buried in head in his hands. "_They play pell mell! With purple hair gel!_"

"Help me!" Piotr stumbled past the doorway covered head to toe in gel. "I can not get it off!"

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto felt a huge migraine coming on. "_They addled my brain!_"

"Hey! There's a giant purple blob in the hallway!" Pyro called out. "Sweet!"

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto barely managed to collapse into a nearby chair. "_They're the ones to blame!_"

"I can not see!" Piotr was heard shouting.

"Get that stuff away from me!" Remy yelled. "AAAHHHHHH!"

"_The pain resumes!_" Magneto tried to massage his temples. "_With their dumb costumes!_"

"Pagliaccio non son!" Sabertooth strode past the doorway wearing a white clown outfit complete with frill and makeup.

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto winced and covered his eyes at the sight. "_They addled my brain!_"

"FLY MY BEAUTIES! FLY! FLY!" Pyro cackled maniacally.

"HEY, LEAVE ME ME ALONE WILL YA?" Sabertooth bellowed at him. "I'M TRYING TO DO AN OPERA HERE!"

CRASH!

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto moaned as more sounds of destruction and mayhem were heard. "_They're the ones to blame!_"

"Get those stupid pigs outta my face!" Sabertooth roared.

"Pyro you nut! You can't let those things do **that**!" Remy snapped.

"Oh yeah? Watch this!" Pyro yelled.

FLOOOOOOM!

"Not again," Magneto ducked as a piece of ceiling crashed to the floor. "_They set entire! Counties on fire!_"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Remy and Sabertooth ran by while being chased by pigs.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro laughed as he followed them while shooting flames from the pig's rocket packs. "YEAH! YEAH!"

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto jumped up and grabbed the room's fire extinguisher. He struggled to prevent flames from entering the infirmary. "_They addled my brain!_"

"OH IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" Sabertooth shrieked.

"Ouch! This stuff is stinging my eyes!" Piotr yelped. "Ow!"

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto managed to put out the fires and threw away the spent fire extinguisher. "_They're the ones to blame!_"

"Gahhhhhh! What is this stuff?" Sabertooth was heard snarling.

"Hey, it's the giant purple blob again!" Pyro giggled. "Let's play with it!"

"No! Don't let the pigs near!" Remy yelled. "The blob might be flammable and..."

WHOOOOOOSSSHHHHHH!

"AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh no," Magneto looked like he was about to break down and cry. "_I'm all done for! I can't take no more!_"

"YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Remy and Sabertooth bolted past again while begin chased by a giant flaming blob of hair gel. Pyro gleefully rode on top of it.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro laughed manically.

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto slowly sunk to the floor. "_They addled my brain!_"

"Will someone please help me?" Piotr called out. "I accidentally stuck myself to the ceiling!"

"_Ain't that insane?_" Magneto wept at the mess his base had become. "_They're the ones to blame!_"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"AAAHHHHHH! AAAUUUGGGHHH! OOOWWWWWWWWW!" Sounds of pain and madness echoed in the distance.

"And I'm supposed to be the savior of mutants," Magneto sobbed and repeatedly banged his head against the floor. "But who is going to save **me**?"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution ****or the song "Ain't That a Shame" by Fats Domino and Dave Bartholomew.**


End file.
